aaaagggggghhhh!

There is something of a misconception in the world today. Most people believe that super powers are imaginary, or that the X-Men movies are fiction (dealing with genetic mutations that give people powers). Most of you don't realize it, but you know someone who has mutant powers and it happens to be me.

One thing that is talked about in X-Men is that it can be a curse to have super powers. Most people would think, "Why the hell would it be a curse to have powers that no one else has?" Right?

WRONG!

Check out Meg (from Family Guy) in the Episode "Family Guy Viewer Mail #1"

She has the amazing mutant ability to....... grow her finger nails.

I have two mutant powers that I'm cursed with.

1. The first one is the mutant ability to attract all the bad and dumbass drivers to me (meaning they get in my way no matter what city, state, country I'm in). I just don't know what it was, but it's like Magneto amplified my powers last weekend. Whenever i got on the highway it was bumper to bumper traffic and people were always just pulling out in front of me and then going 20 miles an hour. Last week, on TWO separate days, i had cars just STOP in their lane (during rush hour traffic no less). The first time i thought the car was broken down, but AFTER i drove by it, the guy just starts driving! Dumbass decided to take a freaking coffee break on the road. The 2nd time was even worse! This van (both were vans actually) was at an awkward angle in the turning lane (the kind where it's its own lane so either side can use it for a turning lane). As i drove by, the guy inside looked like he was DEAD! Head leaned back, mouth open, completely still. So i was like, "Oh Crap!" but i was 2 lanes away so i couldn't do anything (but we were moving slowly). A dad and his son drove up to the car and the son jumped out of the car and shook the guy to see if he was dead (aren't you supposed to poke dead people with sticks?) and then! the guy jerked AWAKE and HIT THE GAS! The kid was lucky he didn't lose his arm from the van moving forward so quickly (and the dad was lucky he parked his car about 20 feet in front of the van so he didn't get HIT!) So the dumbass decided to take a nap in the car DURING RUSH HOUR! WHAT THE HELL? But it gets better! TODAY on my way home i was on my way home and completely stopped at a left turn lane minding my own business when SUDDENLY i hear this SUPER LOUD screeching noise and this car came out of nowhere on my right side (angled toward me) and only stopped about 1.5 feet from hitting my car! i don't know what the hell that stupid bitch was doing/thinking/apparently not thinking since her angle of entry would have done nothing but HIT ME! And then she just goes straight in the lane she stopped in!

2. My other mutant power (it isn't completely bad) is that WHENEVER i'm at the Palms hotel, I'm practically STALKED by the Palms security trucks! they're always around me! But on the upside, it makes me feel very safe! It was funny (and i should have posted this story months ago), but on New Years Eve, Susan, Leo, and I went to go watch the fireworks (they close all access in and out of the Strip for safety reasons, i.e. to keep drivers from running over drunk morons who run into the street) and we had parked my car at the palms and watched the fireworks on the Flamingo Road overpass into the Strip. As we went back to the car (my foot was hurting so Leo got back faster as i walked slower and Susan walked with me), i saw all these people screaming and acting like something happened (or that they were about to throw down with each other). We (being Susan and myself) found out that an Acura flew into the parking lot and took a turn REAAAALLY hard. So hard, that he sideswiped two cars! One of the ladies had called the cops and was reading back a partial license plate number, TR8 *** or something. So we walk another aisle over and we see Leo, and he's on the phone. I try talking to him but he motions to be quiet and he hear him say, "TR8 ***" too! So i'm like, "Oh he saw it too!" Then as i look to the right of leo, i see an acura with a TR8 ***!
Now i'm not condoning hit and run driving, but what kind of dumbass hits two cars and then parks one aisle over! At the very least you high tail out of that parking lot! But nooooooo, this guy parks one over and not only that, but hits the car in front of him too (apparently this is how the guy knew when to "stop" his car). So Leo was talking to the cops and was like, "damn i need to report this to security too! Where the hell are they?" So naturally i'm like, "Ummm, i'm here don't worry my friends will be here shortly too." and low and behold, i turn around and an EXTRA big Palms truck pulls up and 4 of my buddies jump out to secure me and protect the area! So Leo started laughing since I had barely said that and then they popped up and he was there a good 2 minutes before me when all this happened and not a soul was there!

Oh and the worst part (or funniest part) is that we had to wait for like 25 minutes while Palms Security got Leo's statement and description of the guy driving the car. While Susan and I were waiting, we sat on the curb waiting (beside the Acura), and then these GOOOOOOFY looking FOBs drove by and STOPPED in front of us and pointed and started laughing (because they thought Palms Security had stopped us for something and were ticketing us).

So there you have it! Super Powers can be curse!

Random fitness tip of the week: The fact that i'm exercising is a miracle enough right now!
Random news tidbit: Crazy CNN Story

b!